User Profile Picture Change

User profile photos at work: uniformly unflattering! When you work in a building crafted entirely of prestige, cobwebs, and rare gold boxes, this matters a great deal. You, however, do not want to have to change people's photos. Ever. It's not your bag. You purposefully let yourself get the flu before your photo was taken, and then selected the chilliest and most blandly sociopathic of images to represent yourself to your peers, because a nice flat affect prevents idle chatter about childrearing, a topic which, as a barren homosexual, you are not permitted much of an opinion.

Mind you, were your actual opinions to turn up, they would also be unwelcome, although par for the course and widely shared (it's being done wrong and I wish people would treat their children with more respect).

So! People want to control their profile photos, this will make them happy as attempting to rear their young never has. Let's help.

1. Open up Central Administration.
2. Click "Manage Service Applications."
3. Click "User Profile" for whichever service you have.
4. Under People, click "Manage User Properties"
1. Wait for seven forevers. Reflect that the server doubtless needs more RAMs.
5. Select "Picture" and "Edit"
6. Uncheck "Replicable"
1. Reflect that this will instantly cause tremendous, poorly-documented issues everywhere. But whatever, you really are tired of babies' parents' performance of decorating choices.
7. Check "User Can Override."
8. Tickbox "User Can Edit Values For This Property"
9. Okay.
1. Seven more forevers.
10. Return to your MySite, where you can change your photo. 
1. Finally, Goatse for all.